There are so many small reminders that Samuel is gone. They sneak up on you and surprise you with how powerfully they strike.
A mundane thing like receiving our new Medicare cards. Normally you would just open the envelope, have a brief look, take the old one out of your wallet and put in the new one… but not today…..
Today that quick look meant to be confronted with the fact that Samuel’s name will no longer appear on our Medicare cards listed under ours, like it has for so long….. another reminder.
Tanja’s name disappeared, but in the way we expected, the same way Taylor’s name will eventually disappear from our cards, she grew up and became responsible for her own, a chance Samuel will never have.
There are so many rituals and processes to work our way through that will be reminders that our little boy is not here. Always reminders that We are missing our little man.