The buddha by rahlducca
“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts” -Buddha
How much time do you spend with a million things going through your head, compared to how much time you experience an inner peace or a sense of flow in the task that you are undertaking?
For most people the ratio is probably pretty scary with their minds spinning. churning over thought after thought after thought far more often than experiencing that sense of flow or complete clarity.
When we have a moment of complete clarity or experience that sense of flow whilst engaged in a task what happens to us? That sense of clarity or flow is almost inevitably interrupted by another thought… and what type of thought is it.. usually a negative one, that completely shatters that sense of peace.
That one thought then leads us on to another and another (and a sense of frustration that the flow has been interrupted… leading to more negative thoughts).
Our thoughts have the power to do us harm or do us good.
Chris Brogan sparked off a conversation that reflected this with his post expressing his frustration at unrealistic expectations by some people he interacts with.
Chris had a really valid point to make, but what was really interesting was when Chris identified in the comments his fear of being thought of as an asshole if he was not meeting other peoples expectations for access to him.
Now Chris is regarded as guru in internet land. But in reality as much as people want access to him and he values their collective opinion, how much time does any one individual spend thinking about him during the scheme of their day?
Even if we are contemplating our worst enemy how much time do we think they spend thinking about us? In reality we probably spend far more time being concerned about what they think of us, than they expend on thinking about us, so doing more harm to ourselves than they are to us.
The key to preventing our own thoughts from doing more harm to us than those of our enemies is to watch our own thoughts. Within each of our heads there is an angry person, an ill-natured person (yes admit it we all have that even though we are trying to be good all the time), a miser and liar (yes that is that little negative voice).
In the Dhammapada there is a quote that we should all apply to each of the “people” in our own minds first, and then to the outer world, but we can only do this by guarding our thoughts………
“Conquer the angry man by love, conquer the ill-natured man by goodness, conquer the miser with generosity, conquer the liar with truth”
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Thanks Sandra, don't go and book that head examination… you are NOT alone. I agree we are all guilty of this at some point or another and the trick is to learn the skills to get out of it as soon as possible.
Mick, this post is one I imagine we can all relate to on a personal level. When my mind does what you described and takes off on a negative trail, I call it putting myself in a box. It is like I become surrounded and begin boxing myself in with inner-dialog. The method I utilize to get out of this “box” is to pay attention to my conceptions. Eventually, I find my voice of reason, and it is, as if I am magically back onto a positive line of thinking. It is not any easy thing to do, to get back on track, but with practice you can get out quicker.
I am anticipating, that I am not the only person who does this. If I am I could probably use a check-up from the neck-up!
What you have stated here is an important wisdom everyone should know. I do believe that we are slaves of our minds, we unknowingly abide to its whims and reactions. The only way we can intercept the will of our minds is to be aware of it–as you have said, to watch our thoughts. I know this is not an easy task to master, but I don’t want to live my life under the false influence of my mind.
So true Walter, staying mindful is a VERY difficult task, but when practiced it does provide some amazing insights into patterns of thought and behaviour.
When the thoughts begin to race, I call it my hamster treading his wheel. Not always easy and takes practice (something I need to work on of course) but counting to 10 helps to better process my thoughts.
With that being said I think for me making sure I find sometime early in my day to meditate with positve reinforcement for at least 5 or 10 minutes. Complete quiet time. It helps.
I like the quote. Never heard it before.
Thanks Lees,
I also love the hamster analogy (in buddhist practice they call it monkey mind…)
Isn’t it amazing what a short period of meditation like 5 or 10 minutes can do for your mental state….. in fact it is amazing what even 30 seconds and a few deep breaths can do to completely alter your mental and physical state.
Mick,
This is a great read and so are the comments you’ve received. Well done and thank you for sharing your thoughts.
I can relate to the angry man getting worked up over nothing; that used to be me. However, now I have a different approach and enjoy my life much more.
Regards
Paul
Thanks Paul, it is easy to get angry (I know that the angry man definitely lives inside my head… he just doesn’t have as much control over my actions as he once did!)
Glad you have found a different approach and made your life more enjoyable.
I really like this perspective and will forward it along. I’ve always referred to this negative focus as the “freeze”…. being knocked out of our positive realm and thus, standing like a deer in headlights. My solution has always been to take positive action like a brisk walk, or doing a good deed….something to help become centered again. And the sooner, the better. But “Conquer the angry man with love…” sounds much more effective, plain and simple.
I love the alternative way you describe this phenomenon… a freeze…deer in the headlights. I also love the pro-active and positive approach to dealing with the freeze.
It is an interesting challenge to conquer the ones living inside your head!
I read Chris’ article and thought that it was bang on. He made some great points that I wholeheartedly agree with.
It can be pretty overwhelming at time, being a blogger. There is so much to do and so little time. Which makes it more important than ever to be in the flow and get the important things done. I think the last time I was in ‘flow’ was a couple of Saturdays ago when everything was effortless and clicked. It such an amazing feeling, which is why it stands out so much for me and that I can remember it so vividly. Now, to try to get back into that state of mind is the real challenge. Will have to try keep practicing…
Karen
Thanks Karen… it would be interesting to know what interupted that flow…. and now that you are thinking about it how many negative thoughts keep popping into your head about why it is so difficult to re-attain that flow?
That’s pretty interesting actually… certainly not a new concept, but the way Chris handled it is, well, interesting. I find it hard to believe that so many people would have a problem if you had to cut back on your communication with them, yet apparently I was wrong.
That said, I try to respond to each comment/email/whatever straight away. At this stage my blog’s small enough that it doesn’t take much effort to do so… wondering what to do when it gets much bigger though. Food for thought at least
Heather,
You’ve made a really good point here.
Thank you
Paul
I think we all aspire to keep our communication channels open as much as possible, for some people that just becomes unrealistic.
As I said in the post I found it interesting that part of Chris’s frustration was due to his own thoughts about what people “might” think of him if he changed his approach to communication.
Whoops, must have skipped over that word. Makes a bit more sense now though to tell the truth (that said, still too much worrying about other people).
After a point I fully expect that a site will have to cut down a bit; it just gets to the point where theres too much going on and in order to keep succeeding and writing posts they have to communicate less. Or in a different way, in some cases. It’ll be interesting to see what happens at that point.
Yeah, I guess it comes back to the “walk a mile in someone elses shoes” analogy… until we get there we don’t know what it will be like.
I agree some people are quick to judge it’s just one of those things really, for me I reply within 24hrs most of the time, but in the case of emails sometimes it goes to junk and I only check that every few days.
Interesting that so many people had a problem with it though lol
Thanks James, it is true that we all have a different approach to how we deal with our communication channels. I am sure Chris has an absolute mountain of emails, and I am sure it must be difficult to maintain the level of connection that he requires of himself.
I was also intriqued by the number of people that had a problem with Chris needing to address this issue.