Exploring Resilience via Lifes Burning Issues

Category: Resilience (Page 23 of 24)

How to choose your parachute!

Standing ready to jump at 20,000 feet

Thinking about doing something…… maybe starting your own blog, maybe starting your new business, maybe doing a new task. Does it feel like you are at 15-20,000 feet looking out of a plane and not sure if  it is time to step out or not!

Wondering if that package strapped to your back that they call a parachute is really going to open?

Going skydiving is in my bucket list….. but I have not taken that plunge yet!, and maybe in the back of my head it is because I am not really sure if I have faith in a sheet of material stopping me from going SPLAT!  But I do know how to choose a parachute… find out how below

The Inspiration

This post is inspired by a conversation with someone and contemplating taking the jump about launching a new project, a new direction in life.

The Parachute that never fails

It was a perfect example of how in life  we are often confronted with situations which feel like we might as well be standing in that plane contemplating the jump. The difference in life is we all have one parachute that WILL always open. That parachute is your community.

Why can I say this with conviction…. because it has been proven over and over again. The story behind how I got to doing this blog and the formation of the Samuel Morris Foundation are prime examples of a community rallying behind someone standing on the precipice and in every disaster we see communities rally around to support people who need assistance. Communities support people in a multitude of ways every day, more often than not in unseen and often unacknowledged ways.

There are many terrific examples of communities supporting each other. I am part of a few communities out here in the interweb thingy… BUT communities are full of amazing people who either directly or indirectly are having a significant influence on what I am doing, not just here at the blog, but in my other undertakings and in life in general.

Sometimes we can feel like we are all alone and that nobody really gets where we are at.  In reality, we are all part of many communities, and those communities are full of people who are ready and willing to support you in growing and taking those chances that have you scared and wondering if you are really prepared to jump or not.

How do we choose our parachute?

We already have in many ways, our parachutes are our relationships with the people and places that we hang out with and in, they are the people and places that we have invested our time and energy in, they are the people and places who we have helped out in the past, and who may have helped us out in the past.

We are not limited to only those communities, as there are also many new communities like the ones mentioned above that are waiting for you to find them. These are communities of people and places that are full of information and advice we need to help us succeed, and full of potential relationships that could change our lives forever.

Regardless of whether it is a community that we are already a part of or a community of which we are wishing to become a member they are a community because they share desirable characteristics with us and if we spend time building relationships within those communities they make a parachute that is guaranteed never to fail us.

Who represents your parachute?

It would be great to share some examples of parachutes that have prevented us from going SPLAT and created a soft landing for us. So let us know in the comments who represents your parachute.

image by Ian Plumb

Pain is inevitable – Suffering optional

Suffering is Optional

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional….. inspiring words by the Lord Buddha aren’t they?

But what the hell does he mean suffering is optional…. we all get the pain is inevitable part, that’s just part and parcel of the human existence, but to suffer OPTIONAL, surely he had rocks in his head!

Did he?

How many things do you beat yourself up over  with refrains like  “ if only I had…..” or “ I really should do…..” or “If I hadn’t ……. then X wouldn’t have happened.”

We do not have to have those conversations with ourselves, nobody forces us to, nobody says we have to, so why do we?

If  in our heads we are having the conversations “if only I had or if only I hadn’t then…” where are we focusing…. on the past. Can we change the past? NO.

When we are having the ” I really should…” conversation in our heads where are we focusing….. on the future! but are we focusing on actually getting done what needs doing? NO. Can we control the future? NO.

But when we engage in each of these conversations what are we doing? We are causing ourselves to suffer, not because we HAVE to, but because we are choosing to, so the suffering IS optional.

There are many things that happen to people in life that are tragic, and do cause immense physical pain and suffering to people. My sons accident, disability and ongoing problems associated with them are such examples  (see these articles for background…. how did I get here,   real men can, and should, cry ).

If  could there are many things I would change about what happened, but I cannot. If I could I would take away his pain and suffering, but I cannot. If I could I would prevent the future pain and suffering that he will experience, but I cannot.

There are a few words that I use to constantly remind myself about this. The words are ” it is what it is “.

I am not being trite and telling you that positive thinking will solve all of our problems. The reality is coming to the acceptance that ” it is what it is ” is difficult. Stopping yourself from unnecessary suffering is difficult.

There are days when life is tough, and circumstances can and will overwhelm. There are days when we will feel like shit, but those words “it is what it is” are also a comfort on those days, to acknowledge the feeling and not let the “what if”, “if only” conversations start in our heads. We may need to sit with those feelings of being down etc, but we do not need to let them cause us to suffer.

There is only one point in time and space that you and I can control, and that is right here, right now. We can choose to do what is necessary instead of thinking I should….. We can me mindful of the “if only”  thoughts we are having and stop our attachment to the past by acknowledging that it is what is and letting go of it. WE CAN choose not to suffer unnecessarily.

IT IS WHAT IT IS……….. what are you going to do differently to stop the optional suffering?

Image in this post by FranUlloa @ flickr
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