Exploring Resilience via Lifes Burning Issues

Category: Uncategorized (Page 11 of 19)

How much does a thought weigh?

How much does a thought weigh? Just stop and think about that for a moment… how much does a thought weigh?

feeding your brain, how much does a thought weigh. Image by brain_blogger@flickr

Some of you will say they weigh nothing, some will say they weigh a ton, some will say well that depends…..

It’s a question about which we could get all technical and there are a few posts around the internet that do get technical with physics arguments about how much a thought might weigh.  However, I’m not interested in the technical argument dissecting whether the electrical activity in your brain that causes thoughts has any mass, whether there is a weight attached to them as they are stored in your brain, but I am more in the question of what a thought “feels” like it weighs.

I’ve talked before about sitting with sadness and what that means to me. It is the practice of sitting that has lead to the thinking about the weight of a thought.

Crushing…..

Sitting with sadness is an act of meditation and self-compassion (meditation is something that many of us really should do more often as the evidence about it’s positive impacts continues to grow, certainly something that I should do more often).

What interests me is how a thought that arises during this meditation can simultaneously create two opposite but equally powerful sensations, both sensations that feel like they have weight.

When my sitting is around the circumstances with Samuel I regularly have a very intense experience.

Sometimes during a period of sitting I experience  a profound feeling of emptiness but heaviness at the same time. It is a simultaneous feeling like the weight of the universe is pressing down upon me, giving me the feeling that it could crush me and a pulling feeling like being pulled into myself almost to the point of an implosion.  It is not a physical sensation of weight but it is a powerful sensation.

Yet uplifting….

Almost at the very same time I can experience an equally powerful feeling of lightness, a feeling of expanding as if the weight of the universe is being lifted off me and it creates a very strong sensation of almost floating.

Sometimes it is almost a pendulum like experience between these two sensations, moving back and forth between them. Sometimes it is a linear experience, heading towards and implosion and then feeling an incredible sense of lightness and expansion. Other times these sensations literally feel like they are happening at the same time.

Always relieving..

It doesn’t seem to matter what the overall individual experience is for any given period of sitting… but the sitting always provides a sense of relief.

What about you?

Do you have the sensation that your thoughts have weight, what does it feel like? Does it occur during meditation or periods of contemplation… I’d love to know whether you have similar experiences if you meditate… share them in the comments (or in the comments on FB, or send me a tweet @themickmorris about it)

 

 

 

Help… It’s hard to say yes

Charles Dickens wrote

No-one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of others

 

Scultpure - "My Boy" by Nathan Sawaya

sculpture – “My Boy” by Nathan Sawaya

People to be grateful for

We are very fortunate to be in a place where people are offering to take care of Samuel to try to relieve the pressure on us and allow us to do a few things together as a couple or as a family, however;

What do you do when someone offers you help out of a sincere desire to help carry the burden?

What do you do when you desperately want to say yes… But you can’t?

It’s a question that has confronted us a bit during our time dealing with Samuel, and one that in recent times has become harder and harder to deal with.

We would love to say yes to those offers, and we feel bad when we have to knock back those kind offers.

The context of saying thanks, but no thanks…

The context of why it is not possible to say yes is probably difficult for most people to understand, because we have been reluctant to really spell out difficulties that it might entail.

Samuel often needs suctioning to manage his secretions and keep his airways clear. It’s a process that took us a while to learn and to become comfortable with at the start of our journey. It was also the feature of caring for Samuel that was a major contributor to the difficulties of continuing to be able to send him to school.

Attendant carers needed to be taught how to suction Samuel, a process that would take anywhere up to four hours per carer… But what we couldn’t teach them quickly, or help them become comfortable with, are the signals that Samuel gives in the lead up to needing to be suctioned. If you miss those signals then Samuel will quickly be in the process of choking and this immediately poses the risk of him aspirating. If he aspirates this quickly leads to the onset of pneumonia and all the associated problems that he has experienced repeatedly, and the current reality is an aspiration and pneumonia is highly likely to be fatal.

Another complicating factor with caring for Samuel, or with having someone else care for him, is the existence of some advanced care directives that are in place and what they mean for people caring for him. These directives mean certain things for what the Ambulance service have been asked to do or not do, and in the event that he does go to hospital what care will be provided for him by his Doctors. Despite these being in place our experience is that it is still necessary to advocate for Samuel to make sure that these directives are met, as they may not appear in the information that is given to the Ambulance Officers while they are en route to our place.

The existence of these orders even has an impact on our ability to utilize professional respite services that have been involved Samuel’s care for quite a while, as there is some conflict between their agencies perceived duty of care and the details contained in these directives.

We would not want to place people who sincerely want to assist us in a position where Samuel’s care is precarious and they might have to advocate with Ambulance officers to ensure that our wishes for Samuel’s care and treatment are carried out all in a situation that is highly likely to be unfamiliar to them.

As a result we are extremely reluctant to leave Samuel in a position that could see him inadvertently suffer more by being subject to aggressive interventions that are not wanted, and extremely reluctant to put our friends in a position where this might occur to them.

What does help?

There are however many ways that people have been and can continue to ease the burden during this phase of our lives. The little things that people do, the phone call, the message, the sincere question we when bump into each other.. The acknowledgement that you don’t know what to say (the truth is that there is nothing that can be said…), the joke shared, the cuppa shared, please remember …..

Thousands of candles can be lighted by a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

Each of those little things helps keep our candle burning……….

 

 

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