Exploring Resilience via Lifes Burning Issues

Tag: consequences (Page 10 of 13)

How to be right – maybe

 

 


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All rights reserved

“being right is highly over-rated, even a stopped clock is right twice a day” – unknown

Remember the last time that you were involved in a “conversation” in which the person you were talking to just had to be right?

Or was that someone was talking to you and YOU just HAD to be RIGHT!

The quote at the start of this post makes an important point…….even a stopped clock is right twice a day…..but what value is a stopped clock to us in living our lives.

The stopped clock only serves to confuse us. Unless we have another time piece to measure it by,  we never know at which two points in the day the clock is actually right, and the sad part is that despite the clock being right for two minutes every day, it is wrong for 1338 minutes a day.

By anyone’s mathematics that is not a great ratio of rightness to wrongness.

The stopped clock does not help us to measure time or to know when to do things, in fact it does not help us do anything except collect some dust.

When we reserve all rights in our interactions with others we are acting like the stopped clock. We are stuck in a place / time /position. The problem with acting like a stopped clock is that we have no way of measuring at which point or points we are ACTUALLY RIGHT? 

Holding our place / time / position means it leads us be wrong for the other 1338 potential opportunities in the day. So being RIGHT for that proverbial two minutes represents a proverbial 1338 minutes of lost opportunity. It also means that we are adding NO value to the interaction, and the dust that we collect is that of lost friendships,  shrinking relationships and a heap of lost potential.

Do you want to be RIGHT, or would you rather have another 1338 opportunities to add value?

image by no3rdw

How to help yourself.

Help for others?

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or the darkness of destructive selfishness. This is the judgment. Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, What are you doing for others? – Martin Luther King Jr

What are you doing for others?

That my friends is a very powerful question, and I am asking this question of you because whether you like it or not YOU are a leader.

Sure you might not be the CEO of the fortune 500 company, you may not be the A list blogger, you might not hold a formal leadership position of any kind, but you ARE a leader.

What type of leader do you want to be?

A dictator? A benevolent dictator? Autocratic? Participative? Paternalistic?Free-rein?

Or would you rather be a servant leader…..

Servant leadership involves the skills of listening, empathy, healing, awareness, persuasion, conceptualisation, foresight, stewardship, growth and building community.

In whose interests?

When we are making decisions related to our family, our work, our team, our club etc and we need to ask ourselves this question “in whose interests am I making this decision?”

If the honest answer is mine… then it is not servant leadership, and the decision is more likely related to your own need for power, or possessions, or to prove a point of some sort.

If the honest answer is theirs only…then it is not servant leadership, servant leadership is not about being a slave…. and serving only the interests of those around you. That would make you a floor mat to be walked all over.

If the honest answer is OURS… then it is likely that it is servant leadership.

But…how do you DO servant leadership?

Servant leadership means having your eyes, ears, heart and mind open to those around you. It means looking at what their needs are, and what the needs of the family/workplace/team/club etc are and finding a way to fill those needs.

Servant leaders are systems thinkers who are looking at the bigger picture and all of its components and using that vision to grow others. Servant leaders are good communicators, who put people first.

Servant leaders lead in order to serve others, and place an emphasis on trust, empathy and the ethical use of power, not on efforts to increase their own power for their own sake.

The concept of servant leadership has been around since time began with references related to it attributed to Lao-Tzu in the 500’s BC, to Chanakya in the 4th century BC, to Jesus, and to many recent authors like Stephen Covey and others.

Someone, somewhere is watching you.

Think of the all the circles you operate in, your family, your work, your social network, your sporting or community clubs. Someone, somewhere is watching you for clue as to how they should behave.

Are you going to set a leadership example that demonstrates selfishness, or will you accept Martin Luther Kings challenge to walk in the light of creative altruism and set an example that leadership is really about how you serve others?

So to close with the opening question…..what are you doing for others?

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