Exploring Resilience via Lifes Burning Issues

Author: Mick Morris (Page 64 of 93)

A brave little man following a non-fatal drowning

Scultpure – “My Boy” by Nathan Sawaya – photo by Tony the Misfit @ Flickr Away from this blog, I run the Samuel Morris Foundation. The Foundation supports children disabled by non-fatal drowning or other hypoxic brain injuries and prevents future drowning death and disabilities through education and awareness.

Through the work at the Samuel Morris Foundation, I have the privilege of meeting some really amazing children and their parents. Children and parents whose lives have been forever altered.

Joshua’s story

One child I had the privilege of meeting and the foundation was able to provide some assistance to was Joshua. Joshua experienced a non-fatal drowning in his families backyard swimming pool in February 2009.

Joshua fought hard to battle on, unfortunately, Josh was left with severe disabilities and a constant battle to continue to breathe. Josh’s parents fought an amazing battle to give Josh the best possible chance at surviving and having the best possible life that his medical condition would allow.

Eighteen months to the day Josh lost his battle and passed away quietly at home on Friday last week.

Following Josh’s death, I was attending the 6th Annual AUSTSWIM National Aquatic Education Conference. A gathering of aquatics industry people from around Australia and New Zealand. Josh’s parent demonstrated their own courage in many ways. One of which was giving the Samuel Morris Foundation permission to discuss Josh’s story at the Conference.

Josh’s courageous battle touched the hearts of everyone who heard his story.

Behind the scenes – family grief

I have been reflecting on Josh’s courage to fight on for eighteen months, and the courage of other children (including my own) to continue to battle against the odds, and the impact that this has on families.

Many people never see or understand the constant battle that happens for non-fatal drowning survivors and their families. They have to deal with an ongoing process of grief and the prospect of losing their child again. While reflecting on how this is I found an excellent article by Deborah Tiel Millard on a grieving process.

Deborah wrote the article for E-Zine “Complex Child”. While Deborah’s child did not have a non-fatal drowning, Deborah and her family battled for eight years with the complex needs of a chronically ill child and she explains the grieving process better than I could. So for an insight into the lives of families living with children with complex medical needs please read:  A Process of Grief: The Reality of Grieving a Child with Complex Health Care Needs.

The sad statistics on child drowning

Drowning is one of the leading causes of death for children aged 0-4 in most developed countries like Australia, New Zealand the USA etc. For every child that dies as a result of drowning many more are admitted to hospital following a non-fatal drowning and around one-quarter of these children will sustain a brain injury that leaves them with disabilities for life.

The situation is even worse in developing countries where many thousands of children lose their lives due to drowning every year.

Help us stop these tragedies

The best way to avoid these tragedies is through education and awareness. You can help us in these efforts by joining the Samuel Morris Foundation email list. The Foundation newsletter includes updates on what is happening in drowning prevention and provides links to practical tools and sites that you can share with your friends and family to help keep our children safe.

The Samuel Morris Foundation is also committed to ensuring that children disabled by non-fatal drowning have the best possible quality of life. The equipment that these children require is expensive, but essential to their quality of life. You can help out by making a donation

Discover who you are – When it really counts

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they are supposed to help you discover who you are” Bernice Johson Reagon

This post is going to be broken up into a couple of parts, this first part is going to examine the situation of life challenges and how they can lead to a situation that paralyzes us and why.

Live Events

At some point in your life, you will be confronted with a major challenge that will bring you to a screeching halt and leave you in a situation where you feel paralyzed and unable to find a way to move forward.

An assault on your core values

These situations have the power to bring you to your knees (either physically or metaphorically) because they are either an assault on your core values or beliefs to such an extent that our very existence seems challenged, or they create a conflict between your core values and beliefs.

In either case, the situation demands decisions, and often decisions that you are unaccustomed to making or a choice between multiple options each of which may have uncertain or less than optimal outcomes. The need for these decisions can lead you into a psychological condition called decision paralysis or analysis paralysis.

What is decision or analysis paralysis?

There are a wide range of descriptions of decision or analysis paralysis but essentially it refers to a situation where your decision can be treated as over-complicated, with too many detailed options so that you cannot make a choice, rather than you trying something and changing if a major problem arises. You might be seeking the optimal or perfect solution upfront and fear making any decision which could lead to erroneous results, when on the way to a better solution.

The paralysis is caused by a number of common distortions in your thinking while you are contemplating a decision.

  • All or nothing thinking – thinking in terms of absolutes
  • Overgeneralization – using isolated examples to make wide generalizations
  • Creating a mental filter – focusing on usually negative or upsetting aspects while ignoring positives
  • Disqualifying positives – dismissing positives for arbitrary or ad hoc reasons
  • Jumping to conclusions – drawing (usually negative) conclusions from little or no evidence
  • Magnification – distorting aspects of the situation so that they do not correspond with objective reality by making them more significant than they really are
  • Minimization – distorting aspects of the situation so that they do not correspond with objective reality by making them less significant than they really are
  • Emotional Reasoning – making decisions based on intuition rather than objective rationale and evidence
  • “should” statements – statements about the way things should or ought to be that ignore the situational reality
  • Personalization – attributing personal blame or accountability for events over which you have no control

In the next part of this series we will continue to explore how you can really discover who you are when life throws crap at you, but for now

Can you identify any situations in your life where these thinking distortions have occurred? What did you do to overcome these distortions?  

Image by Gurdonark @flickr

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