Exploring Resilience via Lifes Burning Issues

Category: Patterns (Page 7 of 17)

Guaranteed way to fail at your new years resolution

The end of the year is almost upon you…. and your thoughts are turning to what your new years resolution will/should/could be…chances are your New Years Resolution is likely to be one of the classic ones.. you know the list

  • lose weight
  • stop smoking
  • drink less
  • get organised
  • exercise daily
  • to be happy
  • to spend more time with family
  • etc etc etc

Yes I know this year will be different to every other time you made a new years resolution….you are full of determination to succeed… … so I am going to do something completely different and give you the 100% guaranteed method of continuing to fail at your new years resolution…..

Firstly the good news!

100% of New Years Resolutions fail… what 100% of new years resolutions fail..garbage I hear you shout! What evidence do I  have for that and why is that good news?

If you want the evidence just read any newspaper in the lead up to the new year, they will trot out all of the latest research and statistics for you. So lets just summarize it…..There are lots of studies that show that over half of all new years resolutions are done and dusted by the end of the first week of January, that more than eighty percent are done with by the end of January and that as few as eight percent of people make it to the end of the year.

AAAAHHAAA you shout… Eight percent of people make it !

I know, I know you’re committed and determined to be one of those eight percent….. But didn’t I just say 100% of new years resolutions fail, and I was going to give you the one hundred percent guaranteed way for you to be one of them…

Well yes I did…….

Heres the reason why…. change is a complex thing

When do you  think of your new years resolution… some time between Christmas and news year day  (or on new years day… regardless it is often after you have indulged in a great deal more of many of the things that you are vowing to quit)

Those decisions are really a spur of the moment, whimsical verbalization of your fantasy state…these resolutions have been made without any significant thought about what the  desired state REALLY  means to you, and what you actually have to make happen to make the desired state a reality.

There is a well-recognized process for making significant changes in a person’s life. (In fact I think we will explore this model over the next few posts…) The model looks like this.

It is almost guaranteed that the measly eight percent who succeeded didn’t think of their new years resolution in that Christmas/new year time period. I can almost guarantee you that they had been thinking about their desired change for a lot longer than the few days between Christmas and New Year, and that they had made both psychological and physical preparations for the change, in fact they had probably had a few false starts toward their goal in the lead up to the new year….. the only thing that their  resolution has in common with yours is the January 1 start date.

and that is good news because…?

That is  good news  in my books because those eight percent aren’t really making a new years resolution…. they are just acting on a resolution made in the weeks or months leading up to new year, not a decision made on the spur of the moment because they needed a new years resolution to conform with tradition. They just happen to get bundled into the data because of the date they chose as a start date for their actions.

You are free..

The other good news is that because 100% of New Years Resolutions fail..this year YOU ARE FREE.… you don’t need to feel the pressure to make a new years resolution and suffer the inevitable sense of failure when you don’t make it past the first week or month of the new year with your resolution intact.

But I promised you a guaranteed method of continuing to fail at your new years resolution, and I like to keep my promises, so here it is…

Your guaranteed method to New Years Resolution Failure

Your guaranteed method to New Years Resolution Failure is to continue doing what you have done every other new year…. turn you mind to a resolution in these days between Christmas and New Year, tell yourself this year is the year that I will….(insert your resolution here)…, make zero preparations and then beat yourself up for a week, or a month or however long you usually last and the revert to your habit………

But…. if  you are really serious about achieving a life change.. stick around and we will talk about the stages in the Change Model above….

Running on empty

Running on Empty - Jackson Browne - photo by Hectorir @flickr

Running on empty?

Running on empty – Jackson Brownes lyrics said it all…

I had been running around shuttling the family from one place to another and  finally got around to heading home to pack the car and take the family away for the weekend to unwind.

Running on Empty

All was going great until I got about 5 km’s away from home and then the car STOPPED…………The fuel gauge in this picture is what I was confronted by……EMPTY!

After a long walk to and from the service station to get more fuel, and then taking quite a while for the fuel pump to decide that it wanted to actually re-prime and pump enough fuel to start the car we finally headed off for our weekend….. a couple of hours later than we should have. Needless to say we got to our destination VERY late and the first night was a write off.

The fuel gauge as a metaphor

That day was not an atypical day for my family… running around from appointment to appointment, trying to maintain being on time and looking forward to the next thing on the agenda wondering how/when we are going to get there.

On the way home I looked at the fuel gauge and thought… yep that will be enough to get us home and around to purchase some fuel… WRONG!

Over the days following my embarrassing episode of running out of fuel I really started to think about that fuel gauge as a metaphor for life.

Watching your fuel gauge

Cars are built with fuel gauges so we can see how much is left in the tank, in fact most even modernish cars have a warning light and/or buzzer that tells you that you are getting low on fuel.

You and I on the other hand are not built with a gauge… and we have to try and look at our physical, mental, emotional and social fuel tanks and try and monitor them all at once.

How often have you been running around, getting from appointment to appointment, looking at yourself and thinking, “yeah, I’ll just keep going at this pace until…..”  What is that until?

Until the weekend, until your next holidays are due, until… until… until…

Until your physical, mental, emotional and social fuel tanks fuel tanks are empty and you breakdown on the side of your desk, you are worn out and you haven’t seen your family or friends in how long?

Warning signs?

Even though we aren’t built with gauges to flash or buzz at us when our tanks are getting low there are often warnings signs that your levels are being depleted…..

Some of us are better at seeing and paying attention to those warning signs than others….. let’s help out a few others by listing what your warning signs are in the comments….

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