Exploring Resilience via Lifes Burning Issues

Tag: beliefs (Page 4 of 9)

Have you contemplated your death?

Have you contemplated your own death?

skull and crossbones by antmoose @flickr

Have you ever contemplated your own death?

DEATH… it’s not a subject that many people want to contemplate, but it is inevitable and none of us get out of this life alive! 

Due to my profession and the community work that I have chosen to be engaged in death is a subject that I regularly encounter, but over the past day a couple of things have crossed my path that led to me asking you the question about contemplating your death, so I thought I would share them with you…

from the Dhammapada…

Firstly a section of the Dhammapada, that deals with ageing and death:

“Look at the body adorned, A mass of wounds, draped upon a heap of bones, A sickly thing, this subject of sensual thoughts! Neither permanent, nor enduring!

The body wears out, A nest of disease, Fragile, disintegrating, ending in death.” 

from an outstanding blogger…

yet another timely and astounding piece from Jessica Hagy that she has titled “The Crux of Deathbed Regrets”

from a set of lessons which help guide my life..

“… a time will most assuredly come when death that great leveler of all mankind, reduces us to the same state and the best and the brightest of us knows not when…”

Your death?

If you contemplate your own immortality, and the reality that your time is limited but you just don’t know how limited, what does your own death mean to you?

Now that this thought is in the forefront of your mind… what people matter most in your life and what are you going to do about showing them how much you appreciate them?

Share your thoughts in the comments…

Discover who you are – When it really counts

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they are supposed to help you discover who you are” Bernice Johson Reagon

This post is going to be broken up into a couple of parts, this first part is going to examine the situation of life challenges and how they can lead to a situation that paralyzes us and why.

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At some point in your life, you will be confronted with a major challenge that will bring you to a screeching halt and leave you in a situation where you feel paralyzed and unable to find a way to move forward.

An assault on your core values

These situations have the power to bring you to your knees (either physically or metaphorically) because they are either an assault on your core values or beliefs to such an extent that our very existence seems challenged, or they create a conflict between your core values and beliefs.

In either case, the situation demands decisions, and often decisions that you are unaccustomed to making or a choice between multiple options each of which may have uncertain or less than optimal outcomes. The need for these decisions can lead you into a psychological condition called decision paralysis or analysis paralysis.

What is decision or analysis paralysis?

There are a wide range of descriptions of decision or analysis paralysis but essentially it refers to a situation where your decision can be treated as over-complicated, with too many detailed options so that you cannot make a choice, rather than you trying something and changing if a major problem arises. You might be seeking the optimal or perfect solution upfront and fear making any decision which could lead to erroneous results, when on the way to a better solution.

The paralysis is caused by a number of common distortions in your thinking while you are contemplating a decision.

  • All or nothing thinking – thinking in terms of absolutes
  • Overgeneralization – using isolated examples to make wide generalizations
  • Creating a mental filter – focusing on usually negative or upsetting aspects while ignoring positives
  • Disqualifying positives – dismissing positives for arbitrary or ad hoc reasons
  • Jumping to conclusions – drawing (usually negative) conclusions from little or no evidence
  • Magnification – distorting aspects of the situation so that they do not correspond with objective reality by making them more significant than they really are
  • Minimization – distorting aspects of the situation so that they do not correspond with objective reality by making them less significant than they really are
  • Emotional Reasoning – making decisions based on intuition rather than objective rationale and evidence
  • “should” statements – statements about the way things should or ought to be that ignore the situational reality
  • Personalization – attributing personal blame or accountability for events over which you have no control

In the next part of this series we will continue to explore how you can really discover who you are when life throws crap at you, but for now

Can you identify any situations in your life where these thinking distortions have occurred? What did you do to overcome these distortions?  

Image by Gurdonark @flickr

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