Exploring Resilience via Lifes Burning Issues

Tag: experience (Page 4 of 9)

Looking for the fire in his eyes

SamuelSamuel is back in hospital …….

My last post was about where I have been for the past months and I mentioned my son having been in hospital for part of that time (you’ll find the reason for it in the post how did I get here).

The warmth of the fire in his eyes

The thing that has always struck me about my brave little man is that no matter how sick he has been (and he has been incredibly unwell on far too many occassions), I have always been positive and hopeful because he has always had a fire in his eyes.

Samuel has been very sleepy over the past days and has only had his eyes open for a few minutes here and there (one of those occassions captured in the image above). When his eyes are open I find myself desperately looking  in hope for the fire that has always been in his eyes, but right now I’m struggling to find just a spark.

Watching and waiting for the spark

We have had the palliative team involved in Samuel’s care for a while, so conversations about death and dying are sadly way too familiar, but have always been tempered for me by the fire in Samuel’s eyes and the hope that it gives me. 

It is only once before that I have not seen the fire in Samuel’s eyes and it was for a brief time and then the spark took hold and the fire returned to his eyes, but this time it feels different and I cant put my finger on why it feels different. So we are settling in to watch and wait all over again. 

What to do while I watch and wait……

I’ve been doing my best to follow my own advice, like how to sit with sadness, and how to be courageous . So for now I am going to take a leaf from the advice about courage… and I am going put on the uniform of “Dad” knowing what I might be called on for and I am going to keep whispering to myself ….

” I will try again tomorrow”

Has anyone seen Mick?

That’s a fair and reasonable question… where the hell has Mick been for the past six months?

The back end of this blog has been gathering cyber dust and beginning to fade away to nothing more than a digital memory over the past six months or so….


I wasn’t really lost (well at least not for all the time I was away)….it’s just that life sometimes requires us to focus our  energy and our priorities and this was certainly the case for me. Where were my energy and priorities focused?

Churchill Fellowship

Part of the time I was away it was because I was undertaking an international study tour as part of a Churchill Fellowship . My fellowship took a solid three and half month chunk, including travel across 7 countries and 11 Cities as well as the thinking, compiling, drafting and editing of my Churchill fellowship report.

I will be eternally grateful for the trust that the selection panels and national executive of the Winston Churchill Memorial Trust of Australia placed in me in providing the opportunity to undertake the study tour. I’ll post some more about my Churchill Fellowship experiences later, including links and some follow-up from my fellowship report.


If you are a previous reader of this blog then you know the background.. if you are new then I urge you to read my post on how did I get here.

Samuel has had about six weeks in hospital during my absence from my blog, and clearly this requires a focus on family logistics and connectedness.

The silly season

Yes.. the silly season, all that Xmas and new year stuff got in the way too.

Just bloody tired and worn out…..

Yes this blog is about resilience and dealing with life’s ups and downs…well the reality is part of the absence was also about taking the time and space to let my head empty, take care of myself and allow my internal batteries to recharge a little! Last year was a packed and hectic year (and I’m not expecting 2013 will be any different), so it was important to take some time out too.

Weeding the cyber garden, and planting some new posts!

seedling Yes this blogs cyber garden backend was getting weedy.. Well that is until today anyway… I’m back.

So with some cyber weeding of the blog and a few bits of back-end tinkering here and there I’ve the put the blog garden back in order, and it’s time for some new planting.


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