Exploring Resilience via Lifes Burning Issues

Tag: experience (Page 6 of 9)

How to help yourself.

Help for others?

Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or the darkness of destructive selfishness. This is the judgment. Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, What are you doing for others? – Martin Luther King Jr

What are you doing for others?

That my friends is a very powerful question, and I am asking this question of you because whether you like it or not YOU are a leader.

Sure you might not be the CEO of the fortune 500 company, you may not be the A list blogger, you might not hold a formal leadership position of any kind, but you ARE a leader.

What type of leader do you want to be?

A dictator? A benevolent dictator? Autocratic? Participative? Paternalistic?Free-rein?

Or would you rather be a servant leader…..

Servant leadership involves the skills of listening, empathy, healing, awareness, persuasion, conceptualisation, foresight, stewardship, growth and building community.

In whose interests?

When we are making decisions related to our family, our work, our team, our club etc and we need to ask ourselves this question “in whose interests am I making this decision?”

If the honest answer is mine… then it is not servant leadership, and the decision is more likely related to your own need for power, or possessions, or to prove a point of some sort.

If the honest answer is theirs only…then it is not servant leadership, servant leadership is not about being a slave…. and serving only the interests of those around you. That would make you a floor mat to be walked all over.

If the honest answer is OURS… then it is likely that it is servant leadership.

But…how do you DO servant leadership?

Servant leadership means having your eyes, ears, heart and mind open to those around you. It means looking at what their needs are, and what the needs of the family/workplace/team/club etc are and finding a way to fill those needs.

Servant leaders are systems thinkers who are looking at the bigger picture and all of its components and using that vision to grow others. Servant leaders are good communicators, who put people first.

Servant leaders lead in order to serve others, and place an emphasis on trust, empathy and the ethical use of power, not on efforts to increase their own power for their own sake.

The concept of servant leadership has been around since time began with references related to it attributed to Lao-Tzu in the 500’s BC, to Chanakya in the 4th century BC, to Jesus, and to many recent authors like Stephen Covey and others.

Someone, somewhere is watching you.

Think of the all the circles you operate in, your family, your work, your social network, your sporting or community clubs. Someone, somewhere is watching you for clue as to how they should behave.

Are you going to set a leadership example that demonstrates selfishness, or will you accept Martin Luther Kings challenge to walk in the light of creative altruism and set an example that leadership is really about how you serve others?

So to close with the opening question…..what are you doing for others?

Trying to build your reputation, or your character?

Reflecting on character.

It seems that a number of things appear as “universal truths”… how do you identify them?

By the fact that they keep showing up in different guises, repeated by different people at different times in history, but always with a core component no matter what individual spin is placed on the message.

One of these that has been crossing my mind lately has been….

Character vs Reputation.

A few famous people have made comments about this topic including famous US president Abraham Lincoln who said;

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree the real thing

This is an appropriate analogy because a shadow shifts over time (just think of the daily cycle that the shadow goes through as the day progresses), the same can be said for all of us, what people think of us can change from time to time depending on what light is shining on us, and which way it casts the shadow, and where they are standing in relation to the source of the light.

The tree however has put down roots, it goes through the daily cycle of shifting light, it goes through the seasons, growing, dropping it’s leaves, dealing with rain, hail and shine. It bends  back and forth only so far in a gentle breeze, but resists against strong wind. The tree is what it is, regardless of the light being shone on it.

Famous basketball coach John Wooden (as an aside I love his pyramid of success which you can find at his official site) put it this way…

be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are”

Same message, but from a different perspective, but if you know anything about the history of Coach Wooden…. he helped build a lot of character into people, and by doing so earned himself an unenviable reputation. If you want to see him in action then take a look at this TED talk.

How do you define character?

There are probably a thousand different ways that people would describe character.

James D Miles said “you can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him” and another unknown source said “everyone tries to define this thing called Character. It’s not hard. Character is doing what is right when nobody’s looking

How do you build character?

Watch you thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

Where are you focusing?

Are you focusing on trying to build a reputation as something? or are you focused on doing what is right, and doing it regardless of whether anyone is watching? Are you laying down roots, or trying to cast the “right” shadow?

While you are thinking about those questions let me leave you with another thought………

You might be able to adjust the lighting conditions to influence the appearance of the shadow, but you can’t hide the tree!

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