Exploring Resilience via Lifes Burning Issues

Tag: Resilience (Page 11 of 13)

How to be courageous

Courage?

You remember the lion in the Wizard of Oz…… he was in search of courage, because he saw his fear as a weakness, he was timid, BUT he wanted to ROAR…..

The Lion had to go on a long and adventurous trip with Dorothy to meet the Wizard of Oz to ultimately find his courage.

When he meets the Wizard of Oz (depending on which book/movie version you remember) he is given a drink labeled courage, or a medal labeled courage that emboldens him.

I’m sure you don’t want to go on a trip with as many twists and turns as that legendary journey in order to find your courage (or heart, or whatever else it is you are looking for). So is there another way to find your courage?

What is courage?

Courage is defined as the state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear or vicissitudes with self possession, confidence and resolution.

Did the Lion possess these things all along without knowing it? Of course he did. If you remember the story there are a lot of things that the Lion does long the way that show courage (even if he is inwardly fearful whilst doing them).

Far too often we see courage disguised in public discourse as bravery. It is spoken of  in terms of those (hopefully) once in a lifetime instances where someone has to face and overcome a life threatening event were someone is required to do something they did not think that they were capable of.

I remember a quote about this from a fire chief  (I can’t find the original source) that said:

“Bravery is a single act often over in seconds, courage is putting on the uniform every day knowing what you may be called upon to do”

Those moments of bravery are what people often mean when they talk about courage, but what  the lion, and most of us, do not understand is that

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying “I will try again tomorrow” (Maryanne Radmacher)

What the Lion ultimately realised is that the courage that the Wizard of Oz gave him was only temporary, and that in reality he had the courage within him all along.

Like the Lion each of us has within us the courage to do what needs to be done (even if doing it scares the living hell out of us). Often it is an element of self doubt that prevents us from exercising our courage and stops us from trying again tomorrow.

So how do you be courageous?

I will let author and publisher William Feather tell you;

“here is the secret of inspiration: Tell yourself that thousands and tens of thousands of people, not very intelligent and certainly no more intelligent than the rest of us, have mastered problems as difficult as those that now baffle you”

and when it is put like that…… do you need to roar, or can you quietly whisper to yourself “I will try again tomorrow”?

Real men can, and should, cry!

Tears for the World

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Recently we had to have a conversation with our children that no parent ever wishes to have (let alone have several times over)

We took our girls to the psychologist to discuss pending surgery for our son, which carried with it significant risks, including the risk that he may not make it through the surgery. Even if he made it through it was expected that he would be in the Intensive Care Unit for at least ten days if things went well, and if they did not……….

then we would be back where we were three and a half years ago, immediately after Samuel’s accident. We would have decisions to make about turning off life support and then have to watch and wait to see if Samuel was going to live.

As nine and fourteen-year-olds, I am really proud of the maturity that my girls showed in discussing issues of surrounding death, and the issues surrounding dealing with Samuel, theirs and the families circumstances over the past three and a half years.

They also showed a comprehensive understanding of the complexity of the decision that my wife and I had to make to go ahead with the surgery. They really grasped that it was a “rock and hard place” decision.

They understood that not proceeding with the surgery meant that Samuel faced continued deterioration of his health with the ultimate outcome being that he would suffer significantly and that his death would be hastened, and that choosing to proceed meant possibly losing him during surgery, dealing with post-operative complications associated with his fragile bones and failing lung health. They explained in their own words that this was really the only choice to provide Samuel with a chance at a better quality of life.

Samuel has shown that he is one strong little man, he has battled so much since his accident and I am constantly amazed at his strength and tenacity. The girls also showed a great deal of compassion and understanding about what Samuel has suffered through.

I know that the girls have also suffered because Samuel has been in and out of the hospital so much and his illnesses have limited what they have been able to do. They have suffered and sacrificed more than I care to think about.

There are many reasons to be proud of your children. But they made me immensely proud and brought me to tears.

No-one can ever really be prepared for the possibility of their child, or brother etc dying at such a young age, but they showed they are prepared as it is possible to be, they were able to explain themselves articulately and with a grace far beyond what could or should be expected of them at their ages. They demonstrated amazing compassion and proved to me that they really are amazing kids.

I love them and wish that they never had to think about issues like this!

My children can reduce me to tears, and I reckon real men can, and should, cry! How could you not with such beautiful children?

What makes you or your man cry? Do you think real men can, and should cry?

The image in this post by Mary-Rose Photography
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